Alladins Mat..
12 Feb 2012 5 Comments
in Life
Story tellers in the middle east, had an amazing power before radio and TV was invented, it was the source of entertainment for people. Instead of going to an Internet cafe or the movies, people went to a Turkish or Arabian (Hammam) which is really a spa, but what was so special about it is that people would share their stories, it was a great source of entertainment. Each neighborhood had a Hammam, and many neighborhoods had coffee shops too sure they did not serve any cappuccinos instead guests would sip Turkish coffee or herbal tea. They would eagerly escape daily routines to the world of imagination, while gathering around a story teller.
My Grandmother was a great story teller, her ability of impersonating characters, each with a different voice and facial expression, how she took her time in describing each detail no mater how small or insignificant it was. A different world of imagination mixed with reality and humor. Her tales where short but meaningful. Some stories had an impact on me, they stock in my book of memories.
Spending our summer vacations in Baghdad in my grand mothers house, was one of the most wonderful stops in my childhood. Our life in Europe was quiet, the most exciting part about it was when we planned our trips to Iraq. As my mom was corresponding with Baghdad University, our trips to Iraq where more often. My grandmothers beautiful face was the first thing we would see when we stepped out of the tedious security checks in Baghdad’s Airport. One evening on a hot summer night in Baghdad, we gathered around my grandmother for a story (unfortunately a lot of the meaning is lost in translation from Arabic to English), she sat on her favorite couch her little tea pot right next to her, a rosary in her hand that she was very attached to, her silky white head scarf would not stay still over her black shiny hair that surrounded her full glowing face, perfect complexion, white like snow soft like butter, my grandmothers eyes where windows to her gentle soul, I used to hear that people who are close to God have a glow in their face, she surely was a great example of a pure spirit. It was never quite in my grand mothers home, the loud fan in the ceiling, the squeaky noise of the enormous air condition unit in the wall that failed to cool the room. She would take a sip of her small tea cup, look at us with a smile and start her tale;
My dearest,
Ala Al din ( Aladin) was a hard working young farmer had a piece of land that he dearly loved and appreciated. He worked in his farm day and night. Aladin got married and had a son; Ummar. He thought he would never love any thing more than his land, but he was wrong, he loved his son more than he could possibly imagine, so much that his mission in life was to provide an education for him over any expense. After years of hard work finally Aladins son became a Doctor. He couldn’t be any prouder, his son was about to get married and he needed extra money to open his own clinic. Aladin did not hesitate, he sold his farm, the farm that he sweat in all his life, the land that took care of him all these years. Ummar opened his clinic got married and had children, all his dreams came true. Aladin grew gray and frail, couldn’t take care of him self any more. He went to his only son Ummar, and knocked on his door. Ummar opened the door with a cold face, he told his old father that his house was too small and there is no room for him. Aladin was deeply hurt couldn’t believe the words that came out of his sons mouth. But before he stepped out of his sons home, he was asked to wait for a moment, he thought his son came back to his senses and repentant, but seconds later he realized that his son Ummar asked one of his children to bring a mat for his grand father. ”What was the mat for? ” asked the little boy wondering about his fathers intentions towards his old grandfather. The grand son was ordered by his cold father Ummar, to take his grand father Alladin to the mosque and abandon him there with the mat. The child did exactly what his father asked him to do, after leaving his grand father the old farmer, at the door of a mosque he came back to his father but he had half the mat in his hand. Ummar was furies with him ” didn’t I tell you to leave the mat with your grand father in the mosque?” he mumbled. The child looked at his father and said: ” yes I did exactly what you told me, I gave only half of the mat for grand father, and kept the other half for you, so you can use it when you grow older” !
Quran ’ S. 17:23-24 ;
(Your Lord has enjoined you to worship none but Him, and to show kindness to your parents. If either or both of them attain old age in your dwelling, show them no sign of impatience, nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and say: ‘Lord, be merciful to them. They nursed me when I was an infant)
Not only the Quran the bible too, talks about the importance of obeying your parents, it is an obligation to take care of your parent whether you like it or not.
There is an important reason why it is an obligation, because as human beings, we love our children unconditionally, but do we all love our parents the same way? It is amazing how it is repeated and emphasized many times in the holy books about the importance of respecting our parents. The Quran says if one of our parents dies with anger towards us, the doors of heaven would be closed for us. The only time we are allowed to disobey is when a parent asks us to do a hateful act, or worship something other than God, and still even in this case we are obligated to treat them kindly. The way our children see us treat our parents is exactly how they will treat us.
Kindness is contagious and so is cruelty!
Pandora Box…
12 Jan 2012 4 Comments
The legend is….
Pandora was the first woman created on Earth by Zeus, the Greek god, god of all gods. She was given a gift, a jar that had all the evil trapped inside. Pandora was supposed to protect the jar, but being curious she opened it for a peak, and by that she unleashed all the evil to the world; the only thing that stayed trapped in the bottom of the Jar was hope.
At first I thought what a depressing idea, why would Greek Mythology blame it on a woman? Later on I realized that in the holy books too (The Talmud, The Bible and the Quran) Eve was the reason for mankind to be kicked out of heaven. Coincidence? Or did Zeus have a say in the matter? As a woman I was offended.
Let’s go back in history; who pressed the button of the nuclear bomb in the world? who was the reason for the Holocaust? who signed Balfour promise and sold Palestine? who enslaved Africans, who butchered red Indians, who created the Taliban? Who is responsible for all the wars and death around the modern world? It certainly was not women!
Pandora Box… What an ugly thought; create evil that cannot be undone. As a child I didn’t realize that there is such a thing. Now as an adult I have a different perspective. I certainly can feel, hear, and see evil.
”حرام” which translates to ” forbidden” a word I have heard most of my life growing up. It is forbidden to do this and to do that, I hated this word growing up. I always thought was everything that had pleasure forbidden? So why tempt us and then ask us not to do it! Is there a Pandora inside me, or is it Eves destiny, that I cannot escape? As a parent now I understand why it is forbidden to open Pandora box, or touch the apple. I find myself using the word ” forbidden ” more often these days. I am becoming my mother. My parents are relaxed easy-going people; my mom the queen of the house was and still a dictator, (Mama if you are reading this, love you). My Dad very relaxed and easy-going, never really used the word ” forbidden”. So our household had a balanced yin and yang. I used to ask my mom: what do you want from me? I know now I asked the wrong question; I should have asked ” what do you want for me?” ” Safe” that is all I want for my children, to be safe. I want them to have weapons of morality and knowledge, to be able to choose well, and protect themselves from all the evil that is out there. And that is exactly what Pandora didn’t realize, it wasn’t safe to open the jar.
Greek mythology was only a myth, but what about Eve? I finally got it. It is the fact that Pandora and Eve were trusted with great responsibility, that’s what we should focus on and not the fact that they have sinned. It is to bring attention to prepare women for great burdens.
An old Arabic quote ” إن أعددت أُماً أعددت شعباً سيد االأعراق” Which translates to: ”Prepare a girl to be a great mother, and you have prepared generations of master morality”. Empowering girls with morality, knowledge, education, and wisdom should be taken more seriously.
After all it takes a woman to raise a man!
Many examples of great women were given in the Quran, one of my favorite was Balqis, Queen of Saba’a , who led her kingdom from worshiping the sun to worshiping the one and only God, lord of the universe. After Suleiman invited her to believe in the Abrahamic Monotheism, she ruled Athubia and Yemen with justice and kindness, her kingdom was known for being rich and comfortable. She eliminated needless death, spread awareness, improved agriculture and commerce. It was probably the only time in history that the region lived in comfort and peace when a woman with morality ruled.
I can think of so many things that I can label as ” Evil” but the most two that affect my life on a daily basis are ‘Racism’ and ‘Ignorance’.
The first word in the Quran is ‘Read’… maybe if all of us read more we could unleash the hope from Pandora’s jar and rescue morality.
Diary Of A Sleeping Beauty…
03 Jan 2012 10 Comments
in Life, Political.
”I know you felt my hands touching your hair, I know you heard my voice whispering in your ear. They hear silence, I hear laughter. They see stillness, I see prayers. They see coldness, I see warmth. They see hopelessness, I see life, a journey of love, war, loss, happiness and sorrows.”
January 1, 2006, in a small hospital room, she lays in a deep coma. Surrounded by her beloved children and grandchildren, who always argued about every thing. The youngest one held her hand ” Nora, Grandma, wake up, it’s a beautiful morning” she whispered in her ears..
A nurse pulled open the curtains of a small window across of her bed allowing the warm desert sun in the room, brushing her soft pale face with gold threads, blossoming her face as if she was kissed on her cheek.
Havoc and madness of the big city was heard through the window. Noise so loud so annoying. Across the hallway, I could see a mother holding her child, while a nurse cleaned his wounds. Hussel and bussel all around. The hospital was no quiet place. Nothing woke her up. The sight of Nooras dry lips, her eye lids half-open. The sounds of her deep breath. A chilling reminder of reality. She was sleeping in peace, or was she not! is she lost somewhere, drifted in the past? stuck in time!
I wonder if she is back in the 1940′s, right after World War II, traveling on the road in a yellow mini van cab. Her baby boy in her lap, curled up in a white cotton blanket with blue edges and yellow ribbons. His red cheeks, long black lashes and soft black wavy hair, every bit resembling his young mother.
While resting her head back on the car seat. Her teary eyes drifted towards the broken window on her right side. Watching the olive trees passing by as she is getting further and further away from home. A city northern of Jerusalem, the Holy Land. The home she has known all seventeen young years of her life.
She can still see her mother standing on the porch, of her beautiful farm-house, her sweet smell of olive oil mixed with citric aroma. A women of wisdom grace and strength. Her mothers last words to her, ” Noora my sweet child, today you leave this house, be brave, be strong, may God bless you.”
Almost everyone in town gathered that morning to say good-bye to Noora and her husband. But what shocked her the most; that big tall strong man, her father, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. His soft green teary eyes, filled with untapped emotions words cannot articulate.. He looked at her that day not knowing what the future held for them. A sight Noora could never erase from her memory.
Noora took few valuable things with her on her journey, a diploma wich was very rare for a young woman at that time, a gold necklace a gift from her mother, and the Holly Book; that comforted her when she felt lost. She and her young husband made a decision of moving to Iraq, to complete his education. Iraq was known for being a leader in academics, they had the best Universities at that time. And here she is, a small town girl in a huge and loud city.
Iraq was a new adventure for her. It was much more than she imagined. It might be hard to believe this, but this country had grace, and charm and wealth. It embraced many religious groups, Muslims, Christians and Jews and many more. They lived side by side. She and her husband settled in a small house in the city, the heart of Baghdad. She befriended her next door neighbor who happened to be an Iraqi Jew who later was buried in Iraq. Those days religion in the middle east contrary to Europe, didn’t separate people . Noras husband finished his education, and it was time to go back home. Noora couldn’t wait. She missed mostly the mornings, waking up by the smell of mint tea and the rich warm scent of freshly baked bread from the stone oven, that was built in the center of the house.
But something inconceivable happened that year, a catastrophe. Noora’s family were thrown out of their farm whom have owned it for the last eight hundred years generation after generation. However, they no longer owned it. In depth of the matter, they used to say her family owned the seven waves in the sea. (a description of how much wealth they had), now homeless alike with many other farmers.
World War II ended, the Holocaust was over in europe, finally the Jews got their freedom. Yet another race another generation was thrown out of their homes, murdered and gathered in refugee camps, until this moment stuck in time. The lost generation, the unblessed ones, the unchosen ones, deprived of all human rights, freedom, and dignity.
Noora left behind one valuable thing, a Key for her parents home in the Holly Land. A Key for all the prayers.
The Holly Land torn in to pieces, drenched with blood. A sleeping beauty watching, listening and feeling. Waiting for a day of peace. A day where she can embrace all her loved ones, the Mosque, the Church and the Temple.
Sleeping beauty may you be kissed by an angel, may you wake up one day and see love, peace and harmony.
Utopia…
29 Dec 2011 1 Comment
in Life
Be and let others be…
Live and let others live…
You have a choice …
You have a voice…
The infeasible is feasible..
The impossible is possible..
These are the rules…
One might think there is not such a thing where opportunities are accessible and doors are unlocked.
Where the law is with your freedom. Freedom of religion, speech, expression, assembly and many more. A foundation for an idealistic community. So what went wrong?
From what I have seen:
- Taking things for granted. Comming from a Middle Eastern back ground where people would do the impossible to ensure an education for their children, sometimes I stop for a second in a daze when I hear comments like” I don’t want to go to university” or ” I want to take a year off exploring ” especially when the university is a few blocks down the block.
- Sexual freedom. Putting these two words together is alarming. Lets analyse the first word ”Sex’. In most cultures sex is an intimate, physical act between husband and wife, all religions at least agreed on that. The second word ”Freedom” is the state of being free from any regulations. In Utopia sex is far from being only between husband and wife. Kids in schools talk about sex all the time. A girl is expected to lose her virginity in her teens. Sexual freedom opened a door for abuse, teen pregnancy, children on well fare, and of course sexual transmitted diseases in a young age.
- Alcohol. A young adult in Utopia can legally start drinking at the age of eighteen. Even moderate drinking leads to short–term impairment, poor judgement and vulnerability. More doors for abuse are open: drugs, rape, and crime. Not only does Alcohol affect young people, but adults also. It takes forms of spousal abuse, parental abuse that in many cases leads to depression, neglect, divorce or even death.
In many parts of the world, you would see people standing in line for a loaf of bread. In Utopia, people stand in line too for a pair of shoes, a hand bag maybe a cell phone.
I will never forget when I was traveling with my wonderful husband and kids. We stopped at one of the outlets and saw people standing in a long line on a very rainy day. An expensive store had a big sale going on, for a name brand bag. I ended up standing in line too !
It is easy in Utopia to lose your soul. Become a slave for materialistic things.
Spoiled with freedom.
Middle Eastern Mermaid!
25 Dec 2011 2 Comments
in Life
Deep in the dark blue sea, where only mystical mermaids exist, a mermaid against all rules swam away and met her prince, but with no legs she made the deal with the monstrous witch…. and you know the rest……
Every time I watch this movie with my kids I cant help but think waaaaw Mermaid culture is exactly like Middle Eastern culture; funny but true, the mermaid character is in every middle eastern family, carried along generation after generation, our grand mothers and mothers. The mermaid in our legendary tale against her fathers wishes, gave up her life in the sea with her strong king father, her family and friends for a unknown life and unknown future, and at the end sacrificed her life for her prince, ( for the generation that saw Disney’s little mermaid, hate to disappoint you, the original Danish tale ends with the mermaid dying and sacrificing her life to save her prince, her body dissolves into foam ) one of the most memorable moments of my childhood in Germany watching the ballet of The Little Mermaid, any way. Almost every middle Eastern woman I know would sacrifice every thing she has for her husband or children, whether her husband and children deserve the sacrifice or not, it is in our culture no matter where we are. I always imagined my grandmother a dove with large eagle wings hovering over all her chicks yet for sure can be mistaken for the Little Mermaid with all the sacrifices she had made.
No matter what achievements a middle eastern women achieves in the academic or business sector, If she is in a situation where she needs to choose one of two roads, career or husband, she will choose the second. She follows her husband, meaning if a man decides to move to another country his wife would leave her job and follow him, regardless she is making more money than him or not, he is simply the head of the house.
You may say how backward! we live in the modern world, women can choose nowadays and are not forced to do anything. That’s exactly true, Middle Eastern women do choose, they choose their kids and husbands over any thing else, certainly over a job. This applies on many other aspects in the Middle Eastern household; A woman would most likely forgive her husband for misconduct, sure the relationship will be broken and nothing would be as it was, but the kids come first no matter what, even if the wife wants to end the relationship most likely she can’t bring her self to do it. I used to believe that women who can not provide for themselves tend to accept every thing and forgive every thing, that is true in many cases but I came to a realization, from listening to different experiences, that it’s not about financial independence only, I think it is without a doubt embedded in their genes! Middle Eastern women simply can’t put themselves first.
What about the prince in the tale! you might think the Middle Eastern man is so lucky by being ” The Man Of The House” , wait a second before you judge, this title comes with many duties and responsibilities, unlike the spoiled prince in the tale, speaking in general, a Middle Eastern man is raised to literally take care of every body, his elderly parents, his sisters if unwed, his daughters till they find their own prince, and of course his own Little Mermaid, his wife, only then he owns the name ”Man Of The House”, so the title is earned and not given, and by the way In the Islamic Teachings, a husband is obligated to take care financially of the women in his life; on the other hand, if a wife gives money to her husband it’s considered charitable and not an obligation, her money is hers and his money is hers too, great concept, but nothing comes without a price, the man in the house makes the decisions, by that I don’t mean in the old fashion dictatorship way, but in things that many western people can’t relate to like marriage for example, there is no way for a Middle Eastern marriage to be respected without the father’s approval. A woman is more respected by her husband when men in her family show concern and are protective over her wellbeing, that doesn’t mean arranged or forced marriages; there is no such thing any more at least by the majority (In islamic teachings, a woman has the right to choose, and can never be forced into a marriage) that doesn’t mean there is no abuse, of course there is. Especially when poverty is dominant it leads to uneducated society and hardship in general, many times I say to my non-Muslim friends : wish you have met the religion before you have met the people. That is a complicated topic hope to get a chance later and explain more. So eloping or secret marriages bring shame to the family, a woman’s respect would be lost in society. Respect; it’s all about respecting yourself and your parents and your siblings.
You may judge the Middle Eastern Mermaid and say she is backwards or weak, but at the end of the day the ocean is vast and many creatures inhabit it, each has its own uniqueness and beauty. How boring would it be if there would be only one kind one style one way!
Thanks for reading hope I didn’t bore you.
A true Middle Eastern Mermaid.
Lala Land….
24 Dec 2011 6 Comments
in Life, Political.
Far far away is an enchanted place where most women are princesses and most men are slaves, magical flying carpet sold in the market and whimsical fairies roam the prairies, castles so high makes Jini so skittish, numerous wheels with mystical carriages , a king needed a bean reaching the clouds is no more a dream, yet an obstacle made it clear a deal has to be made, the king was in a worry, a merchant so slick came with a trick, lets sell air to the crowd and shall see your dream be, the king was so jolly he called for a party , hundred dinars for a jug of air with a promise it will flare. The king had his bean and finally saw his dream, a tree so high oh glories king highest of high up the sky up so high oh my…the king sigh… a jug of air for a grave up there…
About Shehrazade
22 Dec 2011 3 Comments
in Life
Shehrazad survived a certain beheading simply by being wise and witty, her life was spared and with her tales she became a Queen.
Having said that I am no princess neither facing a beheading, I am simply a daughter, wife, mother and a business women trying to keep my head above water. As a Middle Eastern women, I stop for a moment and look at all the experiences that made me who I am today. I hope I will never offend any one politically or religiously.
